Alright, I went ahead and did one better than the bike playlist. Who wanted that anyway? What I WILL do, is upload my entire DJ set from last Friday. And, hark; here it is:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/0rpig6
Tracklisting:
1. John F. Kennedy Moon "Challenge" Speech (7:58)
2. 8 Bit Weapon - Times Changing (3:36)
3. Orbital - Old Style (5:56)
4. Midnight Juggernauts - Shadows (4:17)
5. Yelle - A Cause Des Garçons (Tepr rmx) (5:58)
6. Edit f/ The Grouch - Artsy (remix) (5:03)
7. Simian Mobile Disco - hotdog (3:16)
8. Ratatat - Mirando (3:52)
9. Treasure Fingers - Our Time (remix) (5:01)
10. Chromeo - Needy Girl (4:17)
11. Feist - My Moon My Man (Boys Noize Remix) (6:40)
12. The Kills - Sour Cherry (3:07)
13. Plantlife - Rollerskate Jam (3:37)
14. Mr. Oizo - Flat Beat (acid party remix) (4:14)
15. Justice - DVNO (4:13)
16. datA - Master Level (5:13)
17. Vampire Weekend - Wolcott (insane remix) (3:59)
18. The Presets - A New Sky (4:36)
19. Vitalic - Poney Part 1 (5:23)
20. Dub Pistols - Speed Of Light (Feat. Blade) (4:06)
21. Mixhell - Dance or Die (Bo$$ in Drama remix) (3:33)
22. Mr Rogers - Mr Lemurian (6:07)
23. Robyn - Konichiwa Bitches (2:36)
24. Surkin - Ghetto Obsession (Beta Version) (3:07)
25. Does It Offend You, Yeah? - We Are Rockstars (3:52)
26. Arab Strap - The Shy Retirer (Dirty Hospital remix) (4:25)
27. New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream (Thee Bang Gang Deejays Remix) (3:33)
28. Mylo - Destroy Rock & Roll (4:03)
29. Ratatat - Seventeen Years (4:25)
30. Crystal Castles - Crimewave (Crystal Castles Vs. HEALTH) (4:26)
31. DJ Shadow - Organ Donor (4:25)
32. MGMT - Electric Feel (Justice Remix) (5:27)
33. The Streets - When You Wasn't Famous (3:21)
34. Klaxons - Interzone To Golden Skans (So Me Remix) (3:35)
35. Copy - This Is Promotional (3:27)
36. Crystal Castles - Untrust Us (3:09)
37. Mathematicians - What's The Difference (4:02)
38. Hercules & Love Affair - Blind (6:18)
39. Calvin Harris - The Girls (mickey slim remix) (7:06)
40. TTC - Travailler (Orgasmic Remix) (3:26)
41. We are Wolves - l.l.romeo (4:03)
42. James Zabiela - Robophobia (7:42)
43. Modeselektor - The White Flash (feat. Thom Yorke) (4:49)
44. Sagat - Fuk dat (6:19)
45. UNKLE - Persons & Machinery (6:04)
Length: 3:27:42
Don't say I never did anything for you.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
o blog, how i have neglected thee.
I've been really, really busy, no time to update the blog. It's coming, however, in due time. I have plenty of awesome stories to tell, trust me.
My bike broke. However, before it took its own life, I DID manage to craft a rather stellar commuting playlist, this time in N/D format because of the excruciating graveyard shifts i worked last week. Trust me, its good. However, due to my policy of one playlist every two weeks, I'm afraid i must abstain until Thursday. Busy, busy, busy.
Watch this space. On Thursday.
///N
My bike broke. However, before it took its own life, I DID manage to craft a rather stellar commuting playlist, this time in N/D format because of the excruciating graveyard shifts i worked last week. Trust me, its good. However, due to my policy of one playlist every two weeks, I'm afraid i must abstain until Thursday. Busy, busy, busy.
Watch this space. On Thursday.
///N
Thursday, August 14, 2008
first commuting mixtape lies herein:
Side 1/Day/Uphill
A1 - BLAZAR! - Diamond Edge
A2 - Surkin - Ghetto Obsession Beta
A3 - Covox - Switchblade Squadron
A4 - Plexus - Speedfreak
A5 - TTC - Travaillier (orgasmic remix)
A6 - Hercules & Love Affair - Hercules' Theme
Side 2/Night/Downhill
B1 - The Presets - This Boy's in Love
B2 - Run DMC vs. Jason Nevins - It's Like That
B3 - Does it Offend You, Yeah? - We are Rockstars
B4 - Feist - My Moon My Man (boys noize remix)
B5 - Menomena - Evil Bee
http://www.sendspace.com/file/4hdyh4
enjoy!
comments would be nice. what do you like? what would you like more of?
A1 - BLAZAR! - Diamond Edge
A2 - Surkin - Ghetto Obsession Beta
A3 - Covox - Switchblade Squadron
A4 - Plexus - Speedfreak
A5 - TTC - Travaillier (orgasmic remix)
A6 - Hercules & Love Affair - Hercules' Theme
Side 2/Night/Downhill
B1 - The Presets - This Boy's in Love
B2 - Run DMC vs. Jason Nevins - It's Like That
B3 - Does it Offend You, Yeah? - We are Rockstars
B4 - Feist - My Moon My Man (boys noize remix)
B5 - Menomena - Evil Bee
http://www.sendspace.com/file/4hdyh4
enjoy!
comments would be nice. what do you like? what would you like more of?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
progress:
the "ride home" half of the first mix is done. hopefully i can perfect the first half today, then i'll gets ta uppin' tonight when i get home.
Monday, August 11, 2008
worth noting to be sure:
now that i work at this shop, its opened up an entire new world of fun on craigslist. if i go to "casual encounters" and type in the name of my shop, all sorts of hilarious shit pops up.
one of the ads is so awesome, holy shit. it definitely brings to mind the opening scene of mallrats when that bald dude snaps off his towel and his ass is hanging out, much to the chagrin of audiences 'round the globe. i will now be posting excerpts periodically.
///N
one of the ads is so awesome, holy shit. it definitely brings to mind the opening scene of mallrats when that bald dude snaps off his towel and his ass is hanging out, much to the chagrin of audiences 'round the globe. i will now be posting excerpts periodically.
///N
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Entry number one; perpetually attempting to meet or exceed expectations; potential for failure: high
so, here it is. to tell you the truth, i never really thought i'd be making/maintaining one of these. a blog. so dumb, everyone and their brother has one. so, what caused me to conform to this globally accepted tear-rag?
as you may or may not know, i recently found employment at a porn shop out in the sticks. i mean the sticks. i'm talkin' like, you can hear coyotes and cicadas and shit out here. i also mean that men howl like coyotes when they're sexin' down other dudes in the booth, or vice versa.
this blog was founded under three principals:
i assure you that the ooginess is very much alive in east portland, and available in concentrated doses at my humble shoppe.
allow me to start this potentially lurid blog out with an interesting morsel: my commute in total is over ten miles, round trip. what that means, for an out-of-shape gent like myself, is that when i get to work, i'm fucking pumped to sell dildos to whomever. like, mega-pumped. that in itself is an odd outlook, personally, nobody should ever be jazzed to test out an implement that you know is going to wind up in rattling around in someone's butt.
before i delve into the juicy shit: it will never be revealed which shop i actually work at. those know know me personally will know. past that, this knowledge will be curtailed.
on my first day, i sold a pocket pussy.
that's right. i had to put batteries in it and everything. it vibrated. the gentleman purchasing it informed me that it was "for [his] friend". man, everything in a porn shop is for someone's friend. noteworthy also was my seeing an old man fondling his wang through his shorts on the security camera, and watching a man jacking off a two-footer as if it were his own penis, then trying to play it off upon being discovered. incredible.
the store has an arcade. the arcade is a genuinely frightening series of dimly-lit corridors snaking their way through the south side of the store. i'm not going to make any attempt to sugarcoat it. people beat off in these rooms. men suck each other off in these rooms. unsavory.
on my third day, a scabby old fellow came in and unloaded the contents of his pockets on the counter.
i would like to say at this point i had seen everything; like, what's next? what can i see that i haven't already experienced? i saw someone playing with their wiener in a semi-public place.
the man brought a sex toy from home, and there it was, right there on the counter; sanitation be damned. he informed me that he needed new batteries. the old batteries were apparently DOA. i recognized this toy as one that we sell in the shop; the most powerful toy we offer. it consists of a remote wand that controls two vibrating bullets that have knobs and shit all over them. butthole stimulating knobs.
egad.
when i informed him that we didn't have any AA batteries in stock (four of them!), he inquired as to where he could acquire them. i informed him that the 7-11 would carry that which he desired.
he left, and immediately afterward i scrubbed the shit out of that counter.
minutes later, he appeared before me again; batteries in hand. dude was intent on getting this toy working. after he got it working, he gave it a quick buzz, asked the janitor if he was taking a break, then headed directly back into the eerie moral graveyard that is the arcade with his toy in pocket.
ok, so that's basically it.
the bike ride to this job is awesome. i can't stress that enough. aside from the bike lanes being literally fortified with broken glass, i have a blast riding to and from work. my calves and upper thighs feel hulked as fuck when i get to work. i kind of like that. i feel that if i ever had to kick down an arcade door to boot a hooker out, the bike ride is a great harbinger.
on the subject of bike riding, i have been trying hard to perfect a suitable playlist for riding to work to. when i finally have it worked out, down pat, i will be posting it here. whatever day i post it on, i will post a new one every two weeks from that day. isn't that awesome of me? everyone wins!
i work tomorrow, expect a story or two.
///N
as you may or may not know, i recently found employment at a porn shop out in the sticks. i mean the sticks. i'm talkin' like, you can hear coyotes and cicadas and shit out here. i also mean that men howl like coyotes when they're sexin' down other dudes in the booth, or vice versa.
this blog was founded under three principals:
- people NEED to know how hilariously awesome it is to sell people pocket pussies with a straight face.
- riding a bike to work is like, pretty fun.
- listening to "hot tunezzz" whilst riding a bike to work is like, pretty funner.
i assure you that the ooginess is very much alive in east portland, and available in concentrated doses at my humble shoppe.
allow me to start this potentially lurid blog out with an interesting morsel: my commute in total is over ten miles, round trip. what that means, for an out-of-shape gent like myself, is that when i get to work, i'm fucking pumped to sell dildos to whomever. like, mega-pumped. that in itself is an odd outlook, personally, nobody should ever be jazzed to test out an implement that you know is going to wind up in rattling around in someone's butt.
before i delve into the juicy shit: it will never be revealed which shop i actually work at. those know know me personally will know. past that, this knowledge will be curtailed.
on my first day, i sold a pocket pussy.
that's right. i had to put batteries in it and everything. it vibrated. the gentleman purchasing it informed me that it was "for [his] friend". man, everything in a porn shop is for someone's friend. noteworthy also was my seeing an old man fondling his wang through his shorts on the security camera, and watching a man jacking off a two-footer as if it were his own penis, then trying to play it off upon being discovered. incredible.
the store has an arcade. the arcade is a genuinely frightening series of dimly-lit corridors snaking their way through the south side of the store. i'm not going to make any attempt to sugarcoat it. people beat off in these rooms. men suck each other off in these rooms. unsavory.
on my third day, a scabby old fellow came in and unloaded the contents of his pockets on the counter.
i would like to say at this point i had seen everything; like, what's next? what can i see that i haven't already experienced? i saw someone playing with their wiener in a semi-public place.
the man brought a sex toy from home, and there it was, right there on the counter; sanitation be damned. he informed me that he needed new batteries. the old batteries were apparently DOA. i recognized this toy as one that we sell in the shop; the most powerful toy we offer. it consists of a remote wand that controls two vibrating bullets that have knobs and shit all over them. butthole stimulating knobs.
egad.
when i informed him that we didn't have any AA batteries in stock (four of them!), he inquired as to where he could acquire them. i informed him that the 7-11 would carry that which he desired.
he left, and immediately afterward i scrubbed the shit out of that counter.
minutes later, he appeared before me again; batteries in hand. dude was intent on getting this toy working. after he got it working, he gave it a quick buzz, asked the janitor if he was taking a break, then headed directly back into the eerie moral graveyard that is the arcade with his toy in pocket.
ok, so that's basically it.
the bike ride to this job is awesome. i can't stress that enough. aside from the bike lanes being literally fortified with broken glass, i have a blast riding to and from work. my calves and upper thighs feel hulked as fuck when i get to work. i kind of like that. i feel that if i ever had to kick down an arcade door to boot a hooker out, the bike ride is a great harbinger.
on the subject of bike riding, i have been trying hard to perfect a suitable playlist for riding to work to. when i finally have it worked out, down pat, i will be posting it here. whatever day i post it on, i will post a new one every two weeks from that day. isn't that awesome of me? everyone wins!
i work tomorrow, expect a story or two.
///N
Thursday, August 7, 2008
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